i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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