suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
