My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
