I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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