is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Your dad touched me again.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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