That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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