Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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