You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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