i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
