Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize