Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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