In the future we'll all be gay
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
