So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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