loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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