Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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