saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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