Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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