Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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