Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
