dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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