We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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