i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
