the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
There's even glitter on my cock...
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