I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
