i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
