areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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