I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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