watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The air taste purple.
Randomize