you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
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you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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