Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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