New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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