she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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