Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
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I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
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So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
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