Kiss
Puke
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
