Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
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We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
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She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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