Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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