I bet he comes in French.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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