I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
