At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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