this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
