my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
