I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
