Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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