i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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