Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
this must be what syphilis tastes like
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
