she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
