Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
