I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Enjoy the penises
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
where are my pants?
in the oven.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
