I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
