Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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