This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
