you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
