i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
