Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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