I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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