Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
