OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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