Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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