I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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