So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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