ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
