how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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