Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
