your room smells of hookers.
And success
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
