If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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