i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
