Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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