he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
