I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
