His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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